Day of infamy

I am pained. Today marks the first of a long next three years. An hour ago I was happily watching episodes of Rome. Now I am crying into my beer. I checked ESPN for an update on the Sox-Indians game to find the game still tied 6-6 in the 10th inning. I also gained ugly, unwanted insight into the Reds new managerial hire. I shudder at the mention of...

...Dusty Baker being our new manager.

I don't keep a liquor cabinet at home. I find that it can be too much of a distraction. I may have to reverse that decision because I find myself awake at 1:11 on a Sunday morning with a serious need for a serious drink. I need a miracle to stretch my remaining beer into a dozen.

Dusty Baker is a disaster for my baseball team. He is one of my most hated managers. He is awful. He will ruin Homer's arm and waste our young talent and drive me crazy with his toothpicks. We might as well bring in Barry fucking Bonds and some other old-ass wash-ups to complete this moronic hire. Dusty Baker will kill me as surely as he killed Mark Prior and Kerry Wood and the Cubs.

Who hires a manager off of a league-worst record? What was Krivsky and/or Castinellini thinking? Can anyone be in charge of the Reds without dooming them to failure for the forseeable future? I don't know if Harang, Brandon, and Josh can dig us out of this hole. This has been some of the worst news I've ever had. Worse even than the fact that I just finished that last beer.

My thoughts are thus: yes, we wanted a "big name" hire, but how do you hose Pete Mackanin like that after the job he did for us? Why not at least wait until after the playoffs to see if Joe Torre is available? Did we even ever contact Joe Girardi? Cuz it sure seems we didn't. The only thing worse than this hire would have been Tony La Russa. I will gladly suffer through 3 or 1 and a half years of this dumbass to avoid the very real possibility of living with La Russa. I would have completed unholy acts to keep La Russa as far away from this franchise as possible. So Dusty Baker is a small -- extremely fucking microbial -- comfort.

I feel so so bad for Pete Mackanin. I am so sorry I'm out of beer. We better win the World Series for the next 3 years running.