Watch out world! Post-Dark Knight euphoria is good and gone and I'm a misanthropic, hateful bastard again.
Fuck no more At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper.
Fuck Stan Winston dying.
Fuck Christian Bale getting arrested.
Fuck Jr. Griffey acting like an idiot during the game.
Fuck some douchebag named McG and his whole stupid cast trying to convince me I need to see another stupid Terminator movie.
Fuck Christian Bale for that too. And fuck Empire of the Sun! I fucking hated that movie; it was stupid. I admit it!
Fuck Blink-182 for being so whiny.
Fuck Watchmen was good.
Fuck being stuck on page 300 of arguably the best novel I have ever read.
Fuck people for being pissed for stupid fucking reasons.
Fuck Mike Mussina and his bullshit 10.80 ERA against Baltimore.
Fuck the Reds if they don't sign Adam Dunn.
Fuck Netflix.
Fuck Newport, RI.
Fuck Superman.
Fuck me throwing tupperware around my kitchen like a fucking loser crybaby.
Fuck stupid UFO conspiracy theorists attacking Bill Nye.
Fuck Chris Carter. I Want To Believe X-Files is above cash-grabs.
Fuck people! Leave me alone about my dating life! (not you Thistle....)
Fuck feeling bad about someone getting married that I should have no reason to feel bad about.
Fuck this dumb blog. I'll most likely delete the whole thing tomorrow.
Fuck me.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Mind: Fucking Blown
Tim Burton who? I like Burton and his films and his Batman a lot, but never in his wildest dreams could he come up with something like this. And the nipple-suit day-glo guy doesn't deserve to have his name mentioned within 100 paragraphs of Christopher Nolan's. Hyberbole is a dangerous thing. It creates unfair expectations that should never be set and could never be met. But the great thing about the words that will follow this sentence is that not one single word, not one single syllable will be simple glorified exaggeration. It's the motherfucking TRUTH.
Between everything going on this summer, all my trips, and all the other mega-huge films that came out, I somehow was able to let The Dark Knight slip into the back of my brain and be somewhat forgotten, hidden and waiting to be discovered after all of the noise and dust settled from the Indys, the crimson-gold power suits, the kid auteurs, the robots, and the ghosts of Yankee Stadium. Suddenly, it was July and this film was only two weeks away. Then this week flew, and then today, and then I was sitting in front of a blank screen in total awe at some ungodly hour of the morning. I had a Batman day. It was in the back of my thoughts all during work. I went out and got the Gotham Knight anime (not to be recommended) and skimmed over Begins one final time before I left for the theater. And then for two and a half hours, hopped up on two Red Bulls and a large Coke, I had one of the greatest film experiences I have ever had or probably will ever have in my life.
This was a fucking masterpiece. I read a review yesterday that compared this film to a Godfather II or an Empire Strikes Back, something to stand tall as an absolute pinnacle of genre film. At first I thought this absurb, but now I know better. This film will probably miss out on a lot of deserved Oscars (it will make a boatload of cash -- and when I say boatload, I'm thinking Titanic-sized) but it will be looked back on in years to come and people will ask why. The movie literally starts blue-blazing hot and it never, Never, NEVER lets up on the gas. Full throttle, hobnailed boot on your throat, pit-bull tearing at your jugular WON'T LET GO. Between the caffeine and the perpetual on-screen intensity I thought I was going to have a heart attack in the middle of the movie and be left wondering how it ended for eternity.
Chris Nolan gets it. The beauty of the character of Batman is that he can be interpreted in so many ways, but Nolan showed me that he understands the character and his Rogue's Gallery and his universe and his pathos the way I do. With all apologies to Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Tim Sale, Jeph Loeb, Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, and many others this is probably the greatest portrayal of Batman in any medium since Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. Batman does things in this movie and goes to limits that even surprised me. In every way imaginable he showed why he truly is the Dark Knight and why lesser characters throughout comics cannot hold the dimmest of candles to him. This was a taut, intelligent crime thriller with moral dilemma after moral dilemma. And by God, this was a true Batman detective story for once, in which he actually used his marvelous mind and did actual detective work rather than jump from fight scene to car chase to fight scene.
And what can be said about Heath Ledger's transcendent, timeless performance? Coupled with the tragedy of his death, this has sealed his legacy in cinema lore for all time. One of the all-time great film villains. He completely nailed everything the Joker is truly about and all he encompasses: pure, unfiltered agent of chaos and mayhem for no other reason than "why not?" At one point in the film the Joker explains the core nature of his and Batman's tug and pull relationship so completely and yet so concisely that I thought I would be knocked flat. The exact line, the situation, Ledger's deliverance, and Bale's reaction were absolute, complete, exact to the nth degree TRUTH.
I could and should spill countless words about Eckhart's performance as Dent and that character's flawless story arc and the relationship between him, Gordon, and Batman, but you really should just see the film for yourself. For as much as was in this film, I never got the feeling that it was too crammed or too constrained by all of the many storylines and characters. Everyone is important and everyone is honestly portrayed with expert, loving complexity and care. No one is safe and everyone is a target.
I had originally planned to see it for this screening and catch it on IMAX as well this weekend. Now I would say that two IMAX screenings and an additional Sunday matinee would be more on target, if not conservative. I want this movie to blow away any and all Spider-Mans, boat movies, and (can't believe I'm saying this) galactic war stories. I want this to be the biggest movie of all time. Run out and see this movie immediately. And then see it again. See it on your lunch break. Skip your doctor appointment and go see it. Let someone else pick up your kids from school. At whatever and all costs, go see this movie as soon as humanly possible. And if that showtime is sold out, patiently wait in line for the next one. Don't take small children because they could be scarred for life. Warners must have bribed the ratings board because I have no idea how this thing scored a PG-13.
No kidding aside, this could be one of the all-time great movies I will ever see in my lifetime. I stayed throughout the entire credits, all the way past that final MPAA stamp and Warner Bros. logo until the projector was turned off, just so I could watch and read all of the names of every person that assembled and contributed to make this film. From Nolan to Bale to Wally Pfister to the lowest gaffer and caterer: thank you from the bottom of my heart for this picture. And God bless you Heath Ledger. You certainly put a smile on my face.
ps. Watch out for that magic trick.
Between everything going on this summer, all my trips, and all the other mega-huge films that came out, I somehow was able to let The Dark Knight slip into the back of my brain and be somewhat forgotten, hidden and waiting to be discovered after all of the noise and dust settled from the Indys, the crimson-gold power suits, the kid auteurs, the robots, and the ghosts of Yankee Stadium. Suddenly, it was July and this film was only two weeks away. Then this week flew, and then today, and then I was sitting in front of a blank screen in total awe at some ungodly hour of the morning. I had a Batman day. It was in the back of my thoughts all during work. I went out and got the Gotham Knight anime (not to be recommended) and skimmed over Begins one final time before I left for the theater. And then for two and a half hours, hopped up on two Red Bulls and a large Coke, I had one of the greatest film experiences I have ever had or probably will ever have in my life.
This was a fucking masterpiece. I read a review yesterday that compared this film to a Godfather II or an Empire Strikes Back, something to stand tall as an absolute pinnacle of genre film. At first I thought this absurb, but now I know better. This film will probably miss out on a lot of deserved Oscars (it will make a boatload of cash -- and when I say boatload, I'm thinking Titanic-sized) but it will be looked back on in years to come and people will ask why. The movie literally starts blue-blazing hot and it never, Never, NEVER lets up on the gas. Full throttle, hobnailed boot on your throat, pit-bull tearing at your jugular WON'T LET GO. Between the caffeine and the perpetual on-screen intensity I thought I was going to have a heart attack in the middle of the movie and be left wondering how it ended for eternity.
Chris Nolan gets it. The beauty of the character of Batman is that he can be interpreted in so many ways, but Nolan showed me that he understands the character and his Rogue's Gallery and his universe and his pathos the way I do. With all apologies to Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Tim Sale, Jeph Loeb, Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, and many others this is probably the greatest portrayal of Batman in any medium since Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. Batman does things in this movie and goes to limits that even surprised me. In every way imaginable he showed why he truly is the Dark Knight and why lesser characters throughout comics cannot hold the dimmest of candles to him. This was a taut, intelligent crime thriller with moral dilemma after moral dilemma. And by God, this was a true Batman detective story for once, in which he actually used his marvelous mind and did actual detective work rather than jump from fight scene to car chase to fight scene.
And what can be said about Heath Ledger's transcendent, timeless performance? Coupled with the tragedy of his death, this has sealed his legacy in cinema lore for all time. One of the all-time great film villains. He completely nailed everything the Joker is truly about and all he encompasses: pure, unfiltered agent of chaos and mayhem for no other reason than "why not?" At one point in the film the Joker explains the core nature of his and Batman's tug and pull relationship so completely and yet so concisely that I thought I would be knocked flat. The exact line, the situation, Ledger's deliverance, and Bale's reaction were absolute, complete, exact to the nth degree TRUTH.
I could and should spill countless words about Eckhart's performance as Dent and that character's flawless story arc and the relationship between him, Gordon, and Batman, but you really should just see the film for yourself. For as much as was in this film, I never got the feeling that it was too crammed or too constrained by all of the many storylines and characters. Everyone is important and everyone is honestly portrayed with expert, loving complexity and care. No one is safe and everyone is a target.
I had originally planned to see it for this screening and catch it on IMAX as well this weekend. Now I would say that two IMAX screenings and an additional Sunday matinee would be more on target, if not conservative. I want this movie to blow away any and all Spider-Mans, boat movies, and (can't believe I'm saying this) galactic war stories. I want this to be the biggest movie of all time. Run out and see this movie immediately. And then see it again. See it on your lunch break. Skip your doctor appointment and go see it. Let someone else pick up your kids from school. At whatever and all costs, go see this movie as soon as humanly possible. And if that showtime is sold out, patiently wait in line for the next one. Don't take small children because they could be scarred for life. Warners must have bribed the ratings board because I have no idea how this thing scored a PG-13.
No kidding aside, this could be one of the all-time great movies I will ever see in my lifetime. I stayed throughout the entire credits, all the way past that final MPAA stamp and Warner Bros. logo until the projector was turned off, just so I could watch and read all of the names of every person that assembled and contributed to make this film. From Nolan to Bale to Wally Pfister to the lowest gaffer and caterer: thank you from the bottom of my heart for this picture. And God bless you Heath Ledger. You certainly put a smile on my face.
ps. Watch out for that magic trick.
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