Harry Potter wants your Christian souls!

I was at work on Friday when I saw something in the local newspaper that caught my eye. Apparently, if you enjoy reading about Harry Potter and his adventures you will soon find yourself caught up attending Black Sabbaths and worshipping Satan. That's what some crazy Georgia parents think at least --- in this, our latest edition of, "Why Christian Fundamentalists are Fucking Nutjobs!"

So anyway, this woman is trying to get the books banned in Gwinnett Co. schools rather than do her job as a parent. She believes they promote evil ideas like witchcraft and the occult and yada, yada, yada. Hey, she's entitled to her opinion, no matter how stupid it is (and it is stupid), but don't force it on other kids and families. Great strategy: try to ruin other people's lives to make things a little easier on yourself. I've never understood the banning book thing. If the purpose of school is to teach children and open their eyes to new ideas and such, than why deny books to them? If this woman has such a problem with books, just home-school your kids and don't ever expose them to anything different so they can grow up to be brain-washed little introverts who can't function in a real environment. Get over yourself lady. The best part is that the woman has no idea what she's talking about. She's never even read the damn books!

[Mrs. Mallory] admitted that she has not read the book series partially because “they’re really very long and I have four kids.”“I’ve put a lot of work into what I’ve studied and read. I think it would be hypocritical for me to read all the books, honestly. I don’t agree with what’s in them. I don’t have to read an entire pornographic magazine to know it’s obscene,” Mallory said.

Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth, woman!? It's actually very hypocritical that you are making a blanket judgement that you have no idea about. Doesn't sound like you put in a lot of work after all. But that is how all these people are. They get it into their little minds that something is bad or against Christianity and they condemn it without even doing a little research. It's like this genius who writes the little Chick Christian comics about how you're going to Hell. I looooove this guy. Some stupid-ass Protestant Bible-beater* who thinks he knows everything. He has a great comic about Dungeons & Dragons. Hey genius! -- if you play D&D, the only thing you are gonna become is a loser, not a Satan worshipper. If a kid reads Harry Potter or plays a fantasy game and ends up casting spells or sacrificing the neighborhood cat, it's most likely due to the fact he can't separate reality and has major issues that are deeper than just a children's book.

So let's summarize: DON'T BAN BOOKS!!! It's a stupid thing to do, a real waste of everyone's time, and a pretty backwards exercise. If you have a problem with a book, or a video-game, or whatever, just talk to your kids about why you think they shouldn't read it. Your child will probably love you more if you just do your job as a parent and don't try to be some crusading social activist. Then again, you are probably a domestic fascist and your child will most likely rebel in his teen years and smoke a lot of drugs and have a lot of unprotected sex and just plain hate your guts, sending you to an early grave after you suffer a cataclysmic and crippling stroke while making brownies for the local Church bake sale. So maybe just chill out and grab a beer.

*I generally do not like Baptists, who seem to comprise the majority of the nutjob fundamentalists, and I do realize that I am making a lot of sweeping judgements about this particular sect of Christianity. I apologize if you are Baptist and can think for yourself; I don't mean to insult your faith and drag you into the broader picture. I just have a problem with the idiots out there.