After the air was let out of the Spidey 3* bag, I've been more than a little reserved about upcoming fanboy-oriented projects like Indy 4 and the Fantastic Four sequel aka Stormclouds of Cosmic Destruction (Do you hear Johnny shouting FLAME-OUT yet?). So to keep it simple and sweet here's a cheery list of things I'm looking forward to in the somewhat near future.
The Dark Knight Surprise, surprise. Wow, this movie just keeps on getting better and better. I read an article in USA Today yesterday about how Nolan is filming four select action scenes with IMAX cameras, including the Joker's big introduction. Can you believe I've never seen a commercial feature on of the big screens? How much are IMAX tickets? Everything from the Joker viral campaign to these evil clown stills has me looking into cryogenic chambers for the next year.
Psychometer reading: 5 out of 5 batarangs
A Dance with Dragons George R. R. Martin needs to finish this book already. I read today that he is doing a virtual reading at a virtual bookstore (?) on Second Life. How can you give a reading of a book that isn't published yet, let alone completed? And couldn't that time be better spent writing? So says the kid who shirks his own projects to write nerdy blogs. I guess an author with his success and following does deserve a little leeway fans, but I'm very anxious to find out whose asses Jon and Arya are going to kick in Vol. #5.
Psychometer reading: 4 out of 5 direwolves
Darren Aronofsky I finally saw The Fountain when I broke down and bought it last week. Ummmm......fucking phenomenal are two words that spring to mind. Brad Pitt and I should be ashamed for doubting. Critics are morons; one moment they are bemoaning the sad state of American cinema and wondering where all the intelligent, thought-provoking filmmakers are, and the next they are lambasting a quality picture with depth and emotional resonance as sci-fi taking itself too seriously. Smart play guys. I'm an idiot as well. I mentioned to someone how I thought Aronofsky would be one of those bright stars who makes a handful of films that no one truly appreciates for decades and then disappears. How wrong was I. Last I checked he was scheduled to direct Damon and Wahlberg in a true life Boston Irish boxing movie and he's writing a rad-sounding picture about a post-Ark Noah laden with alcoholism and survivor's guilt.
Psychometer reading: 4 out of 5 magic trees
The Clone Wars Hey hey my my, Star Wars will never die. I'm always up for some new Clone War stories and this show looks outstanding. If it is anywhere close to the level of quality that the Genndy Tartakovsky cartoon was it should be good.
That lightsaber fight between Anakin and Asajj Ventress in the rain is one of my favorite duels -- even more so than many of the ones found in the actual movies. The shot in this trailer of Anakin leaping from STAP to STAP in mid-air looks to be one of my favorite Star Wars/Anakin moments as well.
Psychometer reading: 5 out of 5 astromech droids
Harry Potter and the Quest for Dollars All satire aside, this summer marks the first time that I have been über-excited about the release of a Harry Potter book/movie. Ironically enough both types of media are close to release and I'm chomping at the bit for both of them. The movies have always seemed a little blah for me but the previews for this one look good. And while I've always been anxious but not crazy to grab the next volume of Harry's adventures, I can tell you that I will be in line on a summer July night for the midnight release of the final book. I'm eager to see how Rowling finishes her saga and to complete a series of fanboy midnight line releases. I've sat in line for Star Wars, LOTR, DVDs, comic books, video cassettes, and numerous other things, but never for a book or for a Harry Potter-related property. Here goes...
Psychometer reading: 4 out of 5 horcruxes
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Of all of the '80s cartoon movies that are coming out soon (Transformers) or in development (Smurfs, Thundercats, G.I. Joe) I am most looking forward to the He-Man movie. And by that I mean it is the only one I am looking forward to. I was crazy for He-Man and his adventures as a kid and had every action figure/playset offered in the United States, including the undeniably badass Moss Man (who was really furry and smelled like soap -- God, toys were so much cooler back then). I am safely assuming Orko will be involved and Dolph Lundgren won't. Until then: By the power of Greyskull!
Psychometer reading: 3 out of 5 Battlecats
Hulk/Iron Man The Incredible Hulk is a character written for toddlers (HULK ANGRY!!!...HULK SMASH!!!) and Tony Stark is a ripoff of Bruce Wayne. I couldn't care less about these upcoming projects other than the fact that Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. are behind Iron Man and that Louis Leterrier (Luc Besson's protege!) and Ed Norton are responsible for the big green monster. And for that both deserve a modicum of my respect.
Psychometer reading: 2 out of 5 power suits
The Dark Tower comics #5 comes out in a few days and let me tell you...that was a long month of May. These books have continued to blow away my expectations month-by-month. The entire crew of Jae Lee, Rich Isanove, Peter David, and Robin Furth have done a thrilling job of serializing young Roland's adventures in Mejis. You know it's a good series when I'm just as excited about the stories I already know as I am the ones I don't.
Psychometer reading: 5 out of 5 sandalwood revolvers and roses
The Golden Compass Have you seen the latest trailer for The Golden Compass!? New Line is playing up the LOTR connection a little much, but this movie looks phenomenal. It has enough to blow any age group away with Pan and the daemons, the action and effects, and the adult and religious themes. All I can say is WOW. Lada and I have a movie date to see this in December. Can't wait.
Psychometer reading: 5 out of 5 alethiometers
Terminator 4? Let's get one thing straight: the Terminator franchise is one that shouldn't have continued after the second movie. For me, those first two movies represent the best of Jim Cameron's work and the best of American sci-fi cinema. T2 is one of my favorite movies of all time. And the great thing about the movies is that the story was wrapped up in two movies. They didn't need a trilogy; they didn't need a saga. It was a two-movie story and the sequel was arguably the best of the two. Then they had to absolutely ruin the story with a third movie, which introduced a retarded new terminator and killed any themes that the previous two had introduced/trumpeted. I won't go into detail because I could rant for days about the disruption 3 caused to my life and my way of thinking. And here we go again because some dickheads bought out Mario Kassar and Co. for the creative rights of the Terminator franchise. We now have a fourth non-Arnold (not that Arnold was good for the 3rd movie; how does a cybernetic organism age like 12 years between appearances?...I'm sorry, I digress) movie and a terrible network show about Sarah Connor and young John. Weak.
Psychometer reading: 0 out of 5 neural net processors
*worst movie ever. The anecdote about this is that several films recieve this title. You know how the Olympic coordinator guy always claims it it the best Olympics ever? Well this is a similar train of thought. Those Olympics weren't that good and neither are these movies. Previous "worst movie(s) ever" were the Tomb Raider movie and Jurassic Park 3. Spidey 3 may not be the worst movie of all time but it sure is the latest to capture that title. Thanks a lot Sam Raimi. Worst movie ever.
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6 comments:
1. Dark Knight - IMAX tickets cost about the same as regular movie tickets. We saw the last couple Potter movies on the BIG screen – superad!
2. Dance w/ Dragons – Holy sweet goddamn, I really wish I could start an epic series after it is completely finished being written. One good note: it sounds like Jordan is well enough to get some writing done. Maybe he will finish WOT before he dies after all.
3. I have been waiting to see the Fountain too. Still waiting. I WILL take this moment to tell you that I bought The Proposition the other day. Still waiting to see that one too…
4. Harry Potter and the Quest to Finish the Last Book Before CNN Announces to the World Which Character Dies
5. Wait. They are making a Thundercats movie? Is it live-action? What about She-Ra, Princess of Power?
6. Is Ed Nortan himself playing the Hulk? Because lada really likes Eddie all “American History X” buffed out. Mmmm. (Green skin and swastikas aside, of course.)
7. Gold Compass – Have they signed on for the trilogy yet? (I heart our future date too)
8. Worst movie ever – Mario Brothers. Period.
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